One of my VHL friends posted a note in the discussion group recently saying that VHL should stand for “Very Hard Life.”
Believe me, in 50 years of living with VHL, with its ups and downs in my own family’s life, there are times I would agree.
And yet I learned a long time ago that the Universe listens to the words we put out into the air. The words we speak become to a certain extent self-fulfilling prophecies. They land on our own ears, and on the ears of those around us, and set the tone.
Many years ago I said, with determination, that we want to make VHL stand for Very Happy Life. I meant it then, and I still mean it. I knew from personal experience how bad VHL could be.
That by no means belittles the difficult road we are on. My son is facing his third spinal cord surgery later this month. Part of me is terrified. I can imagine many different outcomes, most of which I hope will never happen. And I choose to focus on the positive.
I am not grateful for the tumor, but . . .
- I am grateful that surgery these days is far better than ever before.
- I am grateful that they found the tumor early and are choosing the optimal moment to act.
- I am grateful that the very best surgeon has agreed to do the surgery.
- I am grateful for the excellent team of nurses and support personnel who will be there for my son and for the doctor.
- I am grateful for the many good friends and relations around us who have offered to help with home and dogs and the other intricacies of life while we concentrate on his health.
- I am grateful for the community of people with VHL that I share these concerns with.
- I am grateful for my son’s strong spirit.
- I am grateful for his determination to be in the best possible shape going into this surgery, to optimize his health during the surgery and speed his recovery.
- I am grateful for his determination to do the rehab efficiently and well so he can get back to his life and his loved ones as soon as possible.
- I am grateful for my Higher Power for supporting us and the surgeon and his team through all of this. We do our best planning, and then we leave the rest to the Universe.
I am nervous, yes, AND I am CHOOSING to have a happy day.
Let me share one of my favorite quotes of all time.
“When we are able to mobilize our inner resources to face our problems artfully, we find we are usually able to orient ourselves in such a way that we can use the pressure of the problem itself to propel us through it, just as a sailor can position a sail to make the best use of the pressure of the wind o propel the boat. You can’t sail straight into the wind, and if you only knew how to sail with the wind at your back, you will only go where the wind blows you. But if you know how to use the wind energy and are patient, you can sometimes get where you want to go. You can still be in control.
“We all accept that no one, controls the weather. Good sailors learn to read it carefully and respect its power. They will avoid storms if possible, but when caught in one, they know when to take down the sails, batten down the hatches, drop anchor, and ride things out, controlling what is controllable and letting go of the rest. . . . Developing skill in facing, and effective handling the various “weather conditions” in your life is what we mean by the art of conscious living.”
— Jon Kabat-Zinn, Ph.D., FULL CATASTROPHE LIVING: Using the wisdom of your body and mind to face stress, pain and illness, p. 3. (Delta Books, 1990 and later revisions)
Wishing us all happy days and a Very Happy Life — no matter what.
